


The Goodbye

by TardisTexan



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Darillium, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5630035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day the sun rises on Darillium.  The Doctor has to say goodbye to his wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Update on the drabble I posted on tumblr

River woke but did not open her eyes. Her head was laying on the Doctor's chest and his arms were around her. She listened to the double thump of his hearts beating against her ear and it made her sad. This would be the last time she would be with him like this, naked in his arms and as close as two people could be. She knew she should be grateful and happy with this night they had spent together. The twenty-four years with her husband had made her happy beyond measure. But now that it was over, her hearts were breaking.

“You're frowning,” the Doctor said, his voice rumbling in his chest under her ear.

“Yes, I am,” River said. “The dawn will be breaking any minute now and our time will be over.”

The Doctor ran his hand down his wife's back. He couldn't speak, he had no words for what the morning would bring. He knew why she must leave him, and the lessons he had learned taught him that he could not interfere, but letting River go would be the hardest thing he had ever faced. He shifted so he could look at her. “But not quite yet,” he managed, and then he closed his eyes and kissed her.

The made love slowly, the Doctor reverently touching and kissing and memorizing every inch of her body. And when he finally collapsed against her, spent, he had to hide his face from her so that she wouldn't see his tears.

The Doctor knew he would have to be the strong one here. River had always held him up and held him back and it was time to repay the favor. “I'm going to go make us breakfast while you get ready,” he said, his tone flat.

River watched him go. His words stung, even though she knew he was hurting as much as she was. River understood that he was hiding the damage from her, it was the same role she had played for most of their relationship. But it still hurt.

They were wrapped up in a blanket, backs against the TARDIS as they watched the sun peak over the horizon from the top of a cliff. They had already made arrangements to sell the small house they had lived in for the majority of their time on Darillium. That had been another hard day, but River had lovingly recreated every detail of the house in her diary, which had mysteriously gained a few pages specifically for the task.

When the sun had risen, the Doctor stood without a word and and pulled River into the TARDIS with him. He piloted them to River's small house near the university where she taught. He had brought her home.

River grasped the Doctor's hand tightly. They had been preparing for this moment, but she still couldn't bear it. From the remote look on his face, neither could he. River knew she had to be brave, he had to hide the damage, but this was too big, this was too much.

“Doctor, you have to tell me, will I really never see you again once I step out of those doors?” she said, fear in her eyes and in her voice.

“River,” he said tenderly, touching her face. “I told you not to worry. You will see me again. When you need my help, send me a message and I'll be there.”

River could see the sadness in his eyes. She would see the Doctor again, but apparently not this man standing in front of her.

“But you won't see me again,” she said, leaning into his touch and putting her hand over his.

“Oh I don't know,” he said trying to smile. “You are a very unpredictable woman. Who knows what will...” River quickly pulled him down into a kiss before he could say anymore. Their lips were hard against each others, full of passion and need and love.... and goodbye.

The Doctor pulled away from her and smiled. “I would not give up one second of the last 24 years, They have meant more to me than you will ever know,” He rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks. “But now it's time for you to go be Professor Song. You will shape young minds, and excavate civilizations, and save thousands of lives.”

His voice broke at the memory of seeing her in the chair, wiring herself in, and he pulled her against him. “Not one line,” he whispered very quietly into her hair. “Not one line.”

River didn't understand what he meant, but she knew that she would understand soon enough so she held him tight until he pulled back from her.

The Doctor kissed her again then gave her a little scoot toward the door. River picked up her bag and opened the door. She looked back at him, watching the tears gather in his eyes through her own.

“Do I really have to go?” she said.

The Doctor sighed and went to her and took her hands. “River, if you don't go, it would mean rewriting our history. I don't want that, and neither do you.”

The tears welling up in her eyes fell as she shook her head. “Not one line,” River whispered, understanding dawning in her. 

The Doctor shook his head also, “Not one,” he croaked out and pulled her against him. 

After a long moment, River picked up her bag again and went through the door into the sunlight outside. “Goodbye.... Sweetie. I love you.” she said and turned and walked into the house.

The Doctor watched her until she went in and then closed the TARDIS door. He went to the console and sent the ship into flight. He stood, bent at the waist and then suddenly beat his fist against the console until sparks flew. He kept beating against the same spot until he bloodied his hand. The TARDIS sent out a shock that sent him flying across the room and he fell against the wall and stayed there, sobbing. 

After a very long while, he got up. He had done it, sent his wife to her death and not rewritten one line of their history. He had done everything right, even though the pain was absolutely unbearable. 

The TARDIS hum shifted, prodding his mind. “But that didn't mean he couldn't change what happened after his wife had died, now did it?” he thought to himself. “He had saved her after all, hadn't he?” It was time. The Doctor raced to the library and started pulling books from the shelf. She was there, waiting for him, and it was certainly about time he figured out how to save River from the datacore.


End file.
